Monday, December 20, 2010

Real Housewives of Atlanta Episode 12 - "Not So Fine Print"

A be-wigged Kim Zolciak sans makeup is a vision.

 KIM ZOLCIAK - Does this spa have a fat-busting laser-bed contraption?

KANDI BURRUSS - Of course. This isn't Massage Envy.

KIM ZOLCIAK -  Good. Cause I gotta get my side-boob down to a tasteful size before we go on tour.

NENE LEAKES - You two are going on a tour together? Like, sightseeing, or some shit?

KIM ZOLCIAK - A singing tour, thankyouverymuch.

KANDI BURRUSS -  It wasn't my idea.

KIM ZOLCIAK -  It was mine. I figured I'd ride on the coattails of someone with some talent, and showcase my jiggly bits in the process.

SHEREE WHITFIELD - I heard there's a stop in Miami.

KIM ZOLCIAK -  Yeah, but that's not the big one. Charlotte and Orlando are where shit's really gonna go down.

CYNTHIA BAILEY - Orlando? As in, Orlando, Florida? Sweet! I've been meaning to have a bachelorette party... We can do it there!

SHEREE WHITFIELD  - We can wear penis hats on Space Mountain!

PHAEDRA PARKS - I know a stripper who can wear his own penis as a hat.

CYNTHIA BAILEY - So if everyone's down with spending a wild girls' week in Orlando, let's all sign these contracts.

KIM ZOLCIAK - Bitch, you need to chill with these contracts.

PHAEDRA PARKS  - What do you have against contracts? As a lawyer, that means you have something against my profession, which means you have something against me.

KIM ZOLCIAK  - Oh yeah? Your husband's a convict!

PHAEDRA PARKS -  Oh yeah? Big Poppa's in foreclosure!   

CYNTHIA BAILEY - Ladies, please! Stop yelling true things at each other!

NENE LEAKES - Cynthia's  right, even if she is a creepy lesbian stalker. If we're going to shout, it should be about angry delusions and lies.

SHEREE WHITFIELD -  Accusing people of doing things they really did just makes for bad television.

KIM ZOLCIAK - Fine, then. Phaedra, you are very humble!

PHAEDRA PARKS -  And your wig looks extremely realistic!

NENE LEAKES  - Much better.

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