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| Camille Grammer appears to be reading "The Art of War", but it's really just a book jacket she took off of Kelsey's copy and wrapped around "Something Borrowed" by Emily Giffin. |
CAMILLE GRAMMER - I'm going to eviscerate Kyle with words. She's pernicious and Machiavellic.
NICK - Damn, girl. You verbose as shit. So, how's the "Art of War" coming along?
CAMILLE GRAMMER - This is just a book jacket. It's actually "Something Borrowed" by Emily Giffin. Don't tell the cameramen.
NICK - Well, I gotta go to an audition. I know your staff here will make you look great for Kelsey's big debut. Kiss kiss.
CAMILLE GRAMMER - They're not my staff... they're my friends.
NICK - Oh. Right. Well, bye.
CAMILLE GRAMMER - So, here we are, Makeup Artist and Hair Stylist. Among true friends. People who love and care about one another.
MAKEUP ARTIST - That's right, Camille. You are such a fantastic person. Like Jesus, but blonder.
CAMILLE GRAMMER - Awwww... This is what friendship is all about. One-sided compliments.
MAKEUP ARTIST - It's true. Hey, I almost forgot to tell you... I moved to Silverlake, so I'm going to need to change my address for my paycheck and what not.
CAMILLE GRAMMER - Sure, just tell Nicole.
MAKEUP ARTIST - Will do. I had to move in with my sister because she's been diagnosed with Crohn's and -
CAMILLE GRAMMER - Ugh! Kyle is just such a bitch! My husband is richer than hers. Has she forgotten?
HAIR STYLIST - Yeah! You're right and she's wrong! Always! Are we getting Christmas bonuses again this year? I was hoping to buy some knew skis.
MAKEUP ARTIST - Oh, are we taking a "friend" trip to Mammoth again?
CAMILLE GRAMMER - We'll see, Makeup Artist. We'll see.
MAKEUP ARTIST - My name is Greg.
**the Beverly Hills women enter**
TAYLOR ARMSTRONG - Hey Camille, sorry to bust in on your prep time with your staff, but -
CAMILLE GRAMMER - Friends. Not staff. Friends.
TAYLOR ARMSTRONG - Ok, sorry to interrupt you and your friends that you pay, but we need to settle something.
KIM RICHARDS - Taylor said that I said that you were insecure, but it was Lisa who told Taylor that you were insecure and I simply agreed.
TAYLOR ARMSTRONG - You liar! I will take you out back and pull some Oklahoma on your ass, which involves making you walk the Trail of Tears in heels.
LISA VANDERPUMP - I really don't want to get involved. I'd rather sit here with a smirk and relish in the fact that I'm not involved.
CAMILLE GRAMMER - As far as I'm concerned, everybody but Kyle is innocent in this situation.
KIM RICHARDS - Really? Sweet!
CAMILLE GRAMMER - Because she's the prettiest and I hate her for it.
KIM RICHARDS - Darn it.
KYLE RICHARDS - Camille, you could have long brown hair and fake eyelashes, too.
MAKEUP ARTIST - No she can't. They won't stick on her lids.
KYLE RICHARDS - Well, still... Don't be insecure, Camille..
CAMILLE GRAMMER - Don't. Use. That. WORD.
KYLE RICHARDS - What word? Insecure?
CAMILLE GRAMMER - You bitch. You fucking bitch.
KIM RICHARDS - Kyle says that about you a lot.
KYLE RICHARDS - Kim, wtf? You're supposed to have my back!
KIM RICHARDS - Sorry. She called you the prettiest, and that sets off something deep within me that wants you to die.
LISA VANDERPUMP - Camille, listen to me, because I have a British accent which means I'm smart. Let's forget this nonsense and have a great weeKEND.
CAMILLE GRAMMER - What's a weeKEND? You know what? I don't even care about your pernicious London talk. This whole damn thing is pernicious.
TAYLOR ARMSTRONG - You don't mean that...
CAMILLE GRAMMER - I do! Its all pernicious! Now I'm going to meet up with my A-list husband Kelsey Grammer, who doesn't try to get rid of me when I go to his dressing room!
HAIR STYLIST - Tell it, Camille.**sprays her hair**
CAMILLE GRAMMER - Cmon, Real Friends, let's go! **she leads the charge towards the door**
MAKEUP ARTIST - **to Beverly Hills ladies** Here's my card, if any one needs makeup for any occasion, call me.
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