NeNe Leakes is much too loud for the Good Doctor's refined taste. |
At a sidewalk (actually, parking lot) cafe in a Marietta strip mall...
DR. TIY-E MUHAMMAD - I don't think this is going to work. You're not quite womanly enough for me.
SHEREE WHITFIELD - Cuz I pee standing up?
DR. TIY-E MUHAMMAD - Well, that did come into play, yes.
SHEREE WHITFIELD - Or is it because I beat bitches up with my bare fists?
DR. TIY-E MUHAMMAD - That too. Lawrence confided in me that he's very frightened of you.
SHEREE WHITFIELD - Or is it because I ate a 72 ounce steak on our first date?
DR. TIY-E MUHAMMAD - No, I'd never blame a woman for that.
SHEREE WHITFIELD - Good, because it was delicious.
DR. TIY-E MUHAMMAD - Honestly, Sheree, the real problem is that you didn't use baby talk with my son when you called our house. Even though you've never met him.
SHEREE WHITFIELD - Men go to jail for things like that. Just ask Dwight.
DR. TIY-E MUHAMMAD - Yeah, but you're supposed to be a nurturing soul.
SHEREE WHITFIELD - You didn't see last season, did you?
DR. TIY-E MUHAMMAD - I did, but I thought the fact that professional party planner Anthony Shorter had gone into hiding in rural Alberta would have softened you.
SHEREE WHITFIELD - Fuck no.
KIM ZOLCIAK - **enters wearing pink palazzo pants** Whaddup. Is that Riesling?
DR. TIY-E MUHAMMAD - Yes, it's from the Finger Lakes, and -
KIM ZOLCIAK - Shut it, doc. **pounds entire glass, belches** Hey, look at my daughter's abstinence ring. Sexy, right?
BRIELLE ZOLCIAK - I'm not even going to consider "doing it" until I'm 14. It's a promise I made.
DR. TIY-E MUHAMMAD - You get one for yourself, Kim?
KIM ZOLCIAK - Hahaha. Yeah right. **leaves**
DR. TIY-E MUHAMMAD - See? She's not a real woman, either. Too promiscuous.
NENE LEAKES - **enters waving divorce papers** Clonk. BAM! Clonk. BAM! Clonk. BAM! **leaves**
DR. TIY-E MUHAMMAD - Ugh, too loud. Much too loud.
SHEREE WHITFIELD - But what she had to say was really meaningful. Profound, even.
KANDI BURRUSS - **enters, with a nude Mr. Luscious, sings** WhoooooAooooAooooo.... **tickles Mr. Luscious in his privates, he giggles**
DR. TIY-E MUHAMMAD - Too aggressive.
KANDI BURRUSS - **sings** WhoooooAooooAooooo....**leaves**
DR. TIY-E MUHAMMAD - And too musical. It's why I broke things off with Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes back in 2005.
SHEREE WHITFIELD - She was dead then.
DR. TIY-E MUHAMMAD - Even more reason to break things off. Am I right?
PHAEDRA PARKS - **enters eating a pickle, spits the juice out on Tiy-e's plate.** That's really the only reason why I came here. And to drop off this belly band. **leaves**
DR. TIY-E MUHAMMAD - Ew. Too... everything. Now who's this headed our way?
CYNTHIA BAILEY - **stands silently with closed mouth smile, modeling fabric.**
DR. TIY-E MUHAMMAD - Now THAT's what I like. A real woman, who likes to "work it, and be seen."
CYNTHIA BAILEY - **continues to stands silently with closed mouth smile, modeling fabric.**
DR. TIY-E MUHAMMAD - Awwwwww yeah.
SHEREE WHITFIELD - Damn, for an online-educated doctor, you sure got some strict ideas of what a woman should be,
DR. TIY-E MUHAMMAD - I sure do. I have lots of time to think about it in my room at the Holiday Inn. Excuse me, "suite". It's a suite.
SHEREE WHITFIELD - And I got an idea that a real man needs to do.
DR. TIY-E MUHAMMAD - What's that?
SHEREE WHITFIELD - Accept that he's balding and shave his damn head. David Caruso doesn't get work anymore for that very reason.
DR. TIY-E MUHAMMAD - Ouch. That's cold, Sheree. Real cold.
SHEREE WHITFIELD - You know what else must be cold? Your exposed scalp. PEACE! **leaves so Tiy-e can pick up the tab for once**
LOL - Anthony Shorter never went into hiding. He has been busy Producing TV & Film. He has also been working on his new reality show. Who Gonna Check there FACTS boo? Stop with all the lies. Shorter also just did a huge party for Dallas Austin.
ReplyDelete