 |
| Ex-"supermodel" and Ex-fiancée Cynthia Bailey is boring as shit. |
At Atlanta's Uptown Supper Club...
CYNTHIA BAILEY - Bravo's forcing me to come over and talk to you, weird red-haired person. I'm Cynthia Bailey, former supermodel and ex-fiancée three time over. And you are... ?
KANDI BURRUSS - Kandi Burruss.
CYNTHIA BAILEY - Ah. You must have never been a supermodel or a fiancée, or I would have heard of you. I'm pretty active in the modeling and fiancée industries.
KANDI BURRUSS - Well, I did write and produce the hit songs "No Scrubs" and "Bills Bills Bills."
CYNTHIA BAILEY - Sorry. I'm only familiar with modeling songs, like "I'm Too Sexy".
KANDI BURRUSS - Oh. That's a good jam, I guess.
CYNTHIA BAILEY - And engagement songs, like "Wifey."
KANDI BURRUSS - Wow. Great taste. Um... Maybe this will interest you - I'm working with Ne-Yo on a new album!
CYNTHIA BAILEY - Has he ever modeled?
KANDI BURRUSS - Not that I know of...
CYNTHIA BAILEY - Has he ever been engaged to me?
KANDI BURRUSS - You could probably answer that question better than -
CYNTHIA BAILEY - Then I can't comment on it. Next!
KANDI BURRUSS - Hmmm... maybe you can relate to this. I had a fiance once.
CYNTHIA BAILEY - Ok, getting warmer, tell me more...
KANDI BURRUSS - But he got shot in the face.
CYNTHIA BAILEY - Did anybody take a picture of it?
KANDI BURRUSS - Sure, the coroner.
CYNTHIA BAILEY - But was it published?
KANDI BURRUSS - Um...
CYNTHIA BAILEY - Yeah, no. Can't relate.
KANDI BURRUSS - I know! We both have daughters. Let's talk about your daughter!
CYNTHIA BAILEY - Eh, she doesn't really fit into my interests.
KANDI BURRUSS - Which is modeling and engagements.
CYNTHIA BAILEY - Right.
**Nene Leaks enters after guzzling three bottles of Two-Buck Chuck Sauvignon Blanc in the back room**
NENE LEAKES - Kandi, what the fuck are you talking to this boring 'ho for?
CYNTHIA BAILEY - **muttering to herself** Rings, cameras, rings, cameras...
KANDI BURRUSS - Andy Cohen's making me do it. It's painful. Like, it hurts.
NENE LEAKES - Well fuck her, then. Let's pound some rosé and make fun of Dwight's bulge.
KANDI BURRUSS - What do I do with her? I think she's in a trance.
CYNTHIA BAILEY - **still muttering to herself** Say "cheese", say "I do", say "cheese"...
NENE LEAKES - **punches Cynthia in the neck** Take a picture of THAT, bitch.
KANDI BURRUSS - You forgot to make a joke about engagements.
NENE LEAKES - Oh. Um... Nobody's gonna wanna put a ring on a broken NECK, bitch!
KANDI BURRUSS - Not bad. I've heard better, but not bad.
NENE LEAKES - I do what I can.
No comments:
Post a Comment