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Allie Lutz experiences the pain of not fitting in with her peer group, and plans to educate about the dangers of systematic bullying.
Scene I
At Les Deux...
MCKAELA: I came here all the way from an Iowa farm, and this is how people treat me?
ALLIE LUTZ: Welcome to L.A. When two mad scientists spliced human DNA with animal DNA and I was created, people in this town weren't so kind to me either.
MCKAELA: Whoa, you were spliced? I tried that on the farm by putting my prized sow in a Victoria's Secret teddy, but my brother didn't take the bait.
ALLIE LUTZ: Yeah, it's not so bad. The most animalistic things I've ever done is eat Cheetos out of the trash and bite off Chase Crawford's dick. No biggie.
MCKAELA: And break into Brody's house?
ALLIE LUTZ: That too. One of my talons fell off while I was partying there, so I went back to find it.
MCKAELA: Can't blame you for that. Talon manicures ain't cheap. Oh no, here comes that awful Kristin Cavelieri.
KRISTIN: Well, looky here. If it isn't a farmer and one of her farm animals.
MCKAELA: That's actually quite accurate.
ALLIE LUTZ: Kristin, you're just jealous because dogs don't even look your way when you're menstruating.
MCKAELA: Yeah, its like "All Dogs go to Heaven" up in here when Allie's in heat. Oh my god, what am I saying?
KRISTIN: McKaela, even though you're from Iowa and I once saw you wear cargo pants, you can do better than hanging out with a half human-half animal.
MCKAELA: You're right, gosh darn it!
KRISTIN: Want to go get Caramel Frapes at Mickie Dee's?
MCKAELA: Totes!
ALLIE LUTZ: Why, god? Whyyyyy? (Gets on all fours and sniffs a discarded plate of foie gras with crostini.)
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Stephanie Pratt is kind of like Debbie Downer, except her name is not Debbie.
Scene II
At Stephanie Pratt's apartment, during her second date with Prom King Max...
MAX: Delicious dinner, Stephanie. Reminds me of the meatloaf my mom used to make.
STEPHANIE: I bet my mom would make good meatloaf. If she were alive.
MAX: Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. So, what do you like to do for fun?
STEPHANIE: Not much, since my DUI. I drank a fifth of Skyy and ran over Jada Pinkett's poodle. Them's the breaks, I guess.
MAX: Well, I'm, uh, glad to see that you're doing better. Hey, do you bowl? I bowled a 65 at Lucky Strike on Tuesday. I'm such a klutz.
STEPHANIE: No, I don't bowl. The National Bowling Association actually got me on record saying that I thought the sport was for white trash. A YouTube video made the rounds, and now I'm pretty much banned from every bowling alley in the country. Oh well.
MAX: Wow. That's rough. Hey, at least this lemonade is good. That'll make any dark day brighter.
STEPHANIE: Oh, that's not lemonade. My brother hates me so much that he leaves plastic bottles full of urine on my doorstep every morning.
MAX: You know what? I'm going to leave.
STEPHANIE: Ok. Call me.
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