Monday, January 5, 2009

The City - The L Word

Oh man. Olivia's cousin Nevan rules. I love that he considers himself "high society", yet still takes the subway, spits on the platform, and gets a ticket for it. That's my kind of guy. Even though I have a slight hunch that his saliva doesn't land on concrete as much as it lands on his wiener while he lubes up for a romp with a dude.

And by that, I mean that I think he's gay.

You know who's not gay? Whitney. She lurves Jay, but he wants to be a free bird. They're this month's Justin Bobby and Audrina. MTV just loves a pathetic-girl-wants-promiscuous-boy-to-commit storyline.

Even if Jay is a crappy boyfriend, he's a fantastic apartment finder. That place was da bomb! I know Whitney always imagined herself in a walk-up (even though she wasn't quite sure what you call those "three-story brick buildings"), but fuck that Carrie Bradshaw studio shit. She has an amazing view, with a balcony. I've seen people stab toddlers in Chicago to get a balcony. And I really couldn't blame them for it. You can eat dinner outside.

When is Whit going to stop being so goddamn classy? I'm praying for a drunken puke, a stoned Frito-bag licking, or even a puff on a cigarette. Unlike other reality gals, who give me a feeling of superiority, Ms. Port just makes me feel bad about myself. She's got to do something embarrassing at some point... right?

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