Who wouldn't enjoy a show with sidekicks like Frankie Delgado and Sleazy T? Sleazy T. Really. Thats one of Brody's BFF's names. I scoured the Los Angeles County Department of Records to see if I could find a birth certificate listing this as his God given name, but I was only able to locate a marriage license for Rick Rockwell and Darva Conger. So, moving on....
The contestants were asked to compete in a "Broathalon" this week (even I'm sick of everything on this show beginning with the 'Bro' prefix). Event number one was taking a Lazy Boy recliner down a hill, picking up a drink, a remote control and a pizza along the way. In my history of bromantic relationships, never have I once been asked to slalom down a hill and retrieve any of these items. I'm not sure how Brody thinks this will determine whom will make the most genuine friend, but I guess thats not really my problem. The winner was some douchebag. Wait, they are all douchebags.
The second event was a blow up doll race in some sort of gym pool. We learn that Femi, the Black guy from Florida, is unable to swim. At least this show is going out of its way to break stereotypes. Last week the gay guy left because he was in love with Brody and thought he would be leaving the Hills life with him. This week, the Black guy can't swim. Maybe next week we'll learn that fratboy Chris P. dresses like a preppy, Zack Morris fratboy East Coast loser. Nevermind, we already know that. The third event was the Bro-MX bike jump for distance. Femi, as usual, talks a good game but doesn't deliver. Alex is the big winner in this event.
The episode takes an interesting turn when Brody invites these douches, one by one, to a special candelit talk by a firepit, complete with Margaritas. Are we sure that this isn't a dating show and Brody isn't looking for more than a friend? I'm not judging. I just want to know what it is I'm actually blogging about.
Gary sells out Femi, blaming his weird animal references and shit talk on any strife that exists amongst the contestants. Chris P. is awkward and Brody calls him on it. Little Chris is blah, and I don't even remember what they talked about. Alex and Brody bond because they have similar family situations.
Brody takes Chris P. and Femi out on the town to get them to lighten out and show their more genuine sides. The plan doesn't really work, though, and we cut to Chris P. puking in the van on the way to Brody's yacht, which he allegedly won from the Sultan of Brunei. Could this post get any more ridiculous?
When it comes to the final cut, its between Little Chris, Chris P. and Femi. Little Chris gets to stay because he really does seem rather genuine. Femi gets to stay despite his divisiveness, which means that Chris P. takes the dingy back to shore.
Next week we get to see Lauren Conrad interview the guys. Maybe she can save this steaming pile of douchebaggery.
Ahh, I'm glad you used bromantic. That's my personal favorite.
ReplyDeleteAm I the only one who wants the affirmative action button not pressed at all times? There were a bunch of white bros, 1 asian and 1 black bro at the time of elimination. Then Brody dwindled them down to 1 white, 1 asian and 1 black bro. I think it was pretty clear that Chris P. was in trouble.
As an Asian, I don't mind winning a job over someone who is white, but please give me more suspense when I watch reality TV.