Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Bad Girls Club - The Naked Truth

If you thought it was zany when Jenavecia from Season 2 pulled her pants down and peed on the living room couch, wait until you see what these girls are up to. They dress in 80s clothing and run errands! Television history in the making, folks.

So I'll start with Tall Amber, and her new "friend" Greg. Amber can't believe how sweet Greg is, especially when she tells him her mother's pregnancy with her was an accident. "You don't look like an accident," he says. OMG, sooooooo sweet! Enough with the compliments, Romeo!

"Graig", as Amber insists on calling him, Marcia Brady-style, clutches a bottle of Heineken in every scene like a security blanket. He also has a girlfriend that lives with him. Yet, these things are not quite enough to convince Amber that he's a skeez. Nope, she comes to this realization while the two of them argue drunkenly on the street about whether or not you can fish and hunt in Southern California. When he insists you can, she decides that they are so totally dunzo.

But before Graig is cast out of our lives forever, we viewers are treated to some sloppy makeout and zipper-unzipping sounds, à la Joe Millionaire. Oxygen, not to be out-classed by any other network, shows us what appears to be Graig doing Amber from behind. The nastiness doesn't stop there; Ailea and her dad also take a stab at wet kissy noises.

Wait, you say that's not her dad? That's her boyfriend? Get out! I thought her making out with her father was kind of gross, but this bf/gf relationship might be grosser. Best quote about Kevin: "He makes me act like a little kid." Kevin wishes she didn't have to act and just was, but California law prohibits this.

It's wonderful that Ailea found such a caring/creepy father figure to hang with, but must she force her roommates to hang out with him, too? I'm sure these young ladies were racking their brains at dinner to recall an old Murder She Wrote rerun so they'd have something in common with this guy, other than a slight mistrust of Ailea.

I must say, this cast has quite a talent for staging stampedes. Remember on the first episode when Short Amber said in the upstairs hallway that all the girls are followers? About 20 girls poured out of a bedroom upon hearing this statement to surround her. The same thing happened when Ailea went nutso on Short Amber's ass. All these chicks, some who didn't even look like they lived in the house, crawled out of the woodwork to restrain her. Perhaps the ladies have a future in community organizing.

Ailea's freak-out about her punctuality being called into question was not the height of the drama, however. As a general rule, if you're out at a club and your dress is ripped and your cooter is showing... go home. The night is over. No need to fight. No need to fight naked.

Kayla doesn't follow general rules, so she does rip her dress and show her cooter and fight naked. Tiffany gets pretty fed up with Kayla's attention-whoring antics, particularly after Kayla screams at the top of her lungs for everyone to stop paying attention to her. The episode winds down with Tiffany representin' Chi-town in the best way possible; she puts an ignorant fool in her place.

Verbal abuse aside, Tif came out of this episode looking quite well-spoken and rational. She understands why K.C. might resent her, because in the black community, some lighter-skinned women tend to think they're better than darker women. Sarah, who seems to have never had a thoughtful discussion about race in her life, was surprised about this fact. I know she's from Wisconsin, but I'm not sure that excuses her complete ignorance about the subject. Besides, I've seen actual black people in Milwaukee. In the flesh.

On each season, at least one of the girls tells the camera that they want to change, and that they're on the show to get better. Kevin, good ol' rational but possibly a sexual predator Kevin, tells Ailea that this is not a healthy environment for someone trying to get better to be in. True dat, Kev.

Spoken like someone who's probably someone's dad. Or grand-dad.

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