Monday, January 5, 2009

The Bachelor - In Case You've Forgotten, Jason Has a Kid

I hope you stuck around and watched the previews for the rest of the season. Those four minutes kicked the entire hour's ass.

Deanna comes back. That's right... Pappas Fritas shows up to give these other 'hos a run for their money.

She appears later in the season to try and win back Jason, who she dumped last year for a snowboarding Spicoli wannabe. The 27-year old shiksa goddess (is it safe to assume that Jason is a member of the tribe?) is looking for a quality sperm donor for the three children she plans on having before she turns 30. Good luck with that, Greekie.

And I gotta tell ya... Deanna's a much better option than some of these characters. Particularly Shannon, the 29-year old dentist hygienist from Marshall, Missouri. She walked out of the limo with fake buck teeth. Doesn't she remember the girl who fashioned a set of ugly teeth out of an orange peel with the Navy bachelor? It didn't go over well, and I don't think this shenanigan did, either. The bachelor wants someone with a good sense of humor, good being the operative word here.

I've been to Marshall, MO, and have even spent the night there (long story). I can't imagine an unmarried woman under the age of 18 wanting to live in a podunk midwest town like Marshall. Of course she's on The Bachelor - hell, even a marriage-phobe like me would be desperate for a hub if I lived a life like hers.

As usual, there's a full buffet of nutso, neurotic twenty and thirty-somethings desperate to walk down the aisle with any penis-having specimen. But, this season has a twist: The bachelor himself has a son, and several of his potential brides also have children. I'm pleased to see this departure from the traditional meet-marry-have babies scenario. If a network like ABC can get behind the creation of a blended family, it's a small indication that the tides are changing in our society.

One thing I'm most interested to see this season is if the women are as privy to the fact that Jason isn't listening to them talk as we viewers are. I swear, during every conversation, his eyes were wandering off into the distance. Can we blame him, though? I saw a few elementary teachers and administrative assistants, but no doctors or lawyers or engineers. Not to take anything away from those professions, but it's a shame that there's a serious lack of intellectuals for him to choose from.

Then again... a woman like that probably would never appear on a show like this. Jason should have stuck to J-Date.


  1. The chick who didn't get a rose who went on and on about her 'vision board' deserved to get the boot. She has watched Oprah way too many times. The producers must of had fun picking her out during the screening process.

  2. It's true, although she looked great for 36. I would have pegged her for about ten years younger.


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