Monday, December 22, 2008

The Hills - The Finale (Or Is It?)

Brent Bolthouse, much like me, realizes that getting married doesn't warrant a "congratulations." That's reserved for when you actually accomplish something, like earning a degree or eating a pound of corn beef hash in one sitting. I'd say that a "best wishes" is better suited for the occasion, but Brent goes with "shut up." Maybe he'd muster up a little more enthusiasm if it wasn't the union of Speidi he was recognizing.

The city of Los Angeles managed to cast the most soulful orator they could find to play the role of judge for this episode. She made a courthouse wedding downright romantic. After tonight, obnoxious marriage-crazed psycho chicks might start opting for a pant suit instead of a white gown. There The Hills goes again, setting trends for a generation.

I've got to take a break from those two dickbuckets to ask an important question: What the hell was with Justin Bobby's overalls with no shirt underneath? Am I in a Dexy's Midnight Runners video?

Oh, and mom? Don't fret over not being involved in your daughter's wedding. There's going to be many more. The one with Drew Peterson will be particularly memorable, after wife number five accidentally drowns in the toilet. He'll be looking for another victim, and Heidi will use her engagement to Mr. Bolingbrook to catapalt herself back into quasi-fame once people stop giving a shit about her and Spencer's divorce.

Whoa, check out Holly Montag rockin' the lower back tat. She didn't seem like the type.

Heidi made quite a poignant speech about life in your twenties during her heart-to-heart with LC. Without semesters of school or seasons of your reality show to break up time, it all blends together. And it goes by incredibly fast. I feel exactly the same as I felt when I was 22. Maybe time will speed up once I stop sleeping with my blankey.

WTG, Lauren, for handling the convo with Heidi maturely. It takes a seasoned drinker to down several glasses of bubby and not freak out at one of reality television's biggest airheads. I wonder if they'll ever be friends again? Sigh.

On the aftershow, it was revealed that this will NOT be the last episode of The Hills this season. It. never. fucking. ends.

1 comment:

  1. Seriously, this thing never ends. I was secretly hoping this was it. With Whitney out of the picture, and the rest of the cast becoming increasingly boring and/or married, they better introduce a new group of girls or do something to reenergize this show.


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