Real Housewives of Orange County - 120 in the Shade

Now, I like bonging a beer at a trashy Spring Break destination with my two young kids in tow like any red-blooded American woman. But drunk crying over a tattoo? That just ain't coo. Get it together, and pound that Mike's Hard. Do it for your children. They look up to you.

Maybe this will reveal my lack of with-it-ness, but I don't understand what a tattoo that says "Nugget" means. Like, a gold nugget? A nugget of poop he pulls out of his butt before he has gay sex with his down-low boyfriend? It's got to be the latter, because that would help explain why Tamra got so upset. She's clearly perturbed by the suggestions that her kid is a ragin' 'mo.

I about lost it watching Vicki this week. She is incredibly immature, and that's a lot coming from someone who, as I mentioned in my last post, still sleeps with a blankey. As if pinky-swearing with someone wasn't enough, she refused to talk to Jeana after the whole Frankie incident. To top it all off, she was riding on the boat along the river like she was some kind of celebrity. I'm glad the football hit her in the head right as she was about to orgasm from sheer celebrity whoredom. There really is a god.

Gretchen is a bad fiance, the new housewife is a bad parent, and that Daschund is a bad dog for sitting in the spray tan booth. Those fumes will kill you, Fido.
-Liz