Sunday, November 23, 2008

Paris Hilton's My New BFF - Keep Your Frenemies Closer

Damn, that Shelley is such a bore. If Paris knows what's good for her, she'll put her up for discussion next week and Talk To Her Never. I realize that being a Nice Christian wins you some points here in the good ol' US of A, especially if you're running for president. But in all honestly, a Nice Christian is the last person on earth I'd want to be friends with. You'd think Paris would feel the same way. Nice Christians don't drink, don't' swear, don't do coke, don't have meaningless sex, and don't gossip. What could this girl possibly have in common with Paris Hilton? Dump the NC, Paris.

Corrie, on the other hand, deserves to win. Corrie's speech last week about the difficulties of being born beautiful had Paris nodding in empathy. The fact that these two have post-rhinoplasty little nubs on their faces and still lament about the "curse" they were born with just proves that they are MFEO (you know... Made For Each Other).

Does anyone else agree that Paris is on the fast track to gay icon? Put a little extra rouge on those cheeks and give her a Xanax, and she's the next Liza Minelli.

Self-important delusion is another qualification for the role of gay icon. Paris definitely has that one down pat; did she really think people on Hollywood Blvd. would want to pay to take a picture with a cardboard cut-out of her? Really? That's not even mildly exciting for tourists from Amarillo. Even taking a picture with the real Paris wouldn't interest the bulk of the population. Marlo Thomas, she ain't.

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