Thursday, March 6, 2014

Real World: Explosion Recap, Episode 8 - "Betrayed and Beatdown"

Brian and Cory

In the kitchen...

JENNA -  Guess what I have?


JENNA - Guess what else?

JAY - Hair around your vagina.

JENNA - EWWW!! That's so disgusting!!!

JENNY - **looks down** Uh, be right back. **goes to Walgreens to buy Nair**

JAMIE - I don't like the way Jay treats you.

JENNA - It's ok. It's been two years, he's got a weird obsession with "getting numbers" like it's 1995, and he still hasn't asked me out, but I'll live.

JAMIE - He hasn't asked you out? What, do you two just hang out indoors together, Paula Deen-style?

JENNA - No, asked me out as in ask to be girlfriend and boyfriend.

JAMIE - Oh. So you guys are in fifth grade mode.

JENNA - Yep. Except he makes me do it on all fours.

JAMIE - Some of us were doing that in fifth grade, too.

Brian tells Jenny about the night before...

BRIAN - I have something to tell you. I kissed a chemical engineer, and I liked it.

JENNY -  It's ok. I encourage you to experiment with men while you're in San Francisco.

BRIAN - She's a woman, you sexist chauvinist misogynist.

JENNY - **roundhouse kicks him** How do you spell apologize!

BRIAN - In this generation we have spellcheck! And women can be engineers! God, you are so antiquated and past-affiliated.  

CORY - Guys, stop fighting! Somewhere in Michigan, Lauren is having a pharmacy student vacuum out  her insides at a Comfort Inn! **takes a shot, forgets somewhere in Michigan, Lauren is having a pharmacy student vacuum out her insides at a Comfort Inn**

JENNY -  Five years of thought records, and this is how you repay me? **slaps Brian in the face** 

PRODUCER - Jenny, Maybe you should stay in a hotel tonight.

JENNY - I'd rather not.

PRODUCER - **flips through employee handbook that says violence is permitted now** Ok.

JENNY - Take this, raccoon head! **throws Brian's clothes in the hallway**

BRIAN - Get your hands off my items! I personally possess those!

THOMAS - Brian, can I say that I have been very impressed with your expansive vocabulary, or at least your attempts to appear as though you have an expansive vocabulary?

BRIAN - I thank you for your words of positive recognition.

 Arielle works for screentime...

ARIELLE - Hey, everybody! Where's mah pizza? Whomp whomp.

 At the club...

JANIS - Hi, I'm Janis.

HAILEY - Janice? Eh, your jaw bone is wide enough that I can look past it.

THOMAS - Take your bangs and get out of here, slut!

HAILEY -  I can handle being called a slut, but my bangs are where I draw the line. **leaves in tears**

JENNY - **cozies up to Janis** Janice, is it?

JANIS - No, Janis. As in Joplin.

JENNY -That's cool, too. **German kisses him**

Later that night...

JAY - Oh man, everybody's relationship is so stupid except mine. I can pretty much treat her like dirt, and  we're still cool.

JAMIE - I wouldn't be so sure.

JAY - What? What the fuck is she talking about, Jenna?  

JENNA - Well, it's not a big deal but sometimes my feelings get hurt when you make out with other girls in front of me. Not a big deal, though.

JAY - See, Jamie? Solid as a rock

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