Sunday, June 23, 2013

Princesses: Long Island Recap, Episode 4 - "Mr. Wrongs Don't Make A Right"

Amanda and Babs get ready to hit the club...

AMANDA BERTONCINI - Ma, I'm gonna get so low at the club you're not even gonna see me.

BABS - Oh yeah? I'm gonna get so low I'll be in the basement!

AMANDA BERTONCINI - I know I shouldn't encourage your mid-life crisis behavior, but that was fucking hilarious.

BABS - You really think so? Validation from someone your age is more valuable than Spanx.

TAYLOR, AMANDA'S SISTER - **enters room** Oh Christ. Mom, are you really going to a club with your daughter? In a slutty dress that looks like a mirror, no less?

BABS - Excuse me, I'm single! **examines her bloated stomach**

TAYLOR - I wonder why.


TAYLOR - Like you should talk. You're such a beard that Abraham Lincoln's chin is jealous.

AMANDA BERTONCINI  - Are you calling my boyfriend gay?


AMANDA BERTONCINI - You might be on to something there.

Amanda and Babs meet Erica at the club...

ERICA GIMBEL - Ugh, it's so hot in here!

RANDO DUDE - You're hot.

ERICA GIMBEL - **giggles** Tee hee hee.

AMANDA BERTONCINI - Erica, watch yourself. You have a boyfriend. His name is Rob.

ERICA GIMBEL - What?  I'm just flirting.

RANDO DUDE  - Here, let me take your underpants off. It'll cool you.



ERICA GIMBEL - What?  I'm just letting a rando dude take off my underpants in a public space.

RANDO DUDE - Why don't we just have sex right here?

ERICA GIMBEL - Sure, why not?

AMANDA BERTONCINI  - Seriously, Erica! What about Rob?!

ERICA GIMBEL - What? I'm just having sex on a show my boyfriend will surely watch three months down the road.

RANDO DUDE - **to Amanda** Hey, cock block, take a stroll.


On the way to Adult Jewish Single Camp...

ASHEE WHITE - **answering phone** Hello?

HAL WHITE, ASHLEE'S DAD - Darling, it's been seven minutes since our last call and your mother and I are schvitzing with worry about you.

ASHLEE WHITE - Don't worry, daddy, I have the engagement ring you bought me to keep me safe.

HAL WHITE - Ok,  but I'm concerned your Adult Jewish Single Camp might be cancelled because of the weather.

ASHLEE WHITE - Daddy, nothing could keep men away from 30-something entitled whiny Jewish women who skipped the custom of sophomore year nose jobs.

HAL WHITE - You're right. **hangs up**

ASHLEE WHITE - **phone rings again** Daddy, thank god you called back. You forgot to say you loved me!

ADULT JEWISH SINGLE CAMP DIRECTOR - This is Adult Jewish Single Camp Director. Adult Jewish Single Camp is cancelled. **hangs up**


Chanel, Joey, Casey, and Ashlee party in New Milford, CT...

CHANEL OMARI - I'm gonna take so many shots I'll forget I planned to marry somebody I only knew for 10 months.

JOEY LAUREN - I'm gonna drink so much I'll forget I saw hummus on a waiter's wiener yesterday.

CASEY COHEN - And I'm gonna get so drunk I'm going to sit in a chair and read BuzzFeed on my phone.

ASHLEE WHITE - **approaches bartender** Are you Jewish?


ASHLEE WHITE - You're so much hotter than me that I'm going to pretend you didn't say that. **makes out**



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