Thursday, August 30, 2012

The Real World St. Thomas, Episode 10 - "Of Vice And Men"

Apparently, dudes that your friends never really found attractive are off limits.

Brandon invites Kyndra over to the house...

KYNDRA - Remember when you came into a bar, and actually SAT at the bar, but wouldn't buy a drink?

BRANDON - Yes. But if I hadn't, we wouldn't have met, and I feel like you and I -

KYNDRA - Got any beer?

BRANDON - No, sorry. Hey, want to play pool?

KYNDRA - Then we gotta make the 40-minute trek to the mainland to get some alcohol. I'm gettin' the shakes.

BRANDON - Um, ok. Sure. When we get back, we can wax philosophical about our tattoos!

KYNDRA - Huh? Mine are self explanatory. **shows him tattoo on her back that says "AA is for quitters**

They get back to the Island after a beer run...

BRANDON - I feel like we have a real connection, you and I. 

KYNDRA - Yep. **takes a shot of whiskey**

BRANDON - I mean, you have piercings, I have piercings. I have tattoos, you have tattoos.

KYNDRA - Whatever. **gives up on shots, pours entire bottle down her throat** Hey, why aren't you drinking?

BRANDON - Well, I promised my roommates that I'd stop.

KYNDRA - Don't two of those fuckers have matching Disney tattoos?

BRANDON - Good point. **starts drinking, but blacks out until he finds himself leading a conga line of strangers at SeƱor Frog's**

The roommates return from Easter Dinner...

TREY - Where's Brando?

SWIFT - I saw him wandering around Charlotte Amalie with that druggie beggar girl that sometimes sits outside of the CVS and shouts things at the passer-by.

TREY - Good taste.  

LAURA - Hey, guys - I have the best idea! Let's peruse the Subway website while our stomachs are stuffed with food that's actually non-shitty!

EVERYBODY - Whooooo! **they look at pictures of nasty subs and attempt to keep their nausea at bay for the sake of the show's main sponsor**

LaToya gets a phone call from Max...

LATOYA - Oh yeah? I bet you'd like that, wouldn't you? Uh huh, I'm touching it. Mmmm...

MARIE - **walks in** Uh... what the fuck are you doing?

LATOYA - Nothing.

MARIE - Your hand is down your pants.

LATOYA - That's just how I talk on the phone. 

MARIE - It's Max, isn't it?  

LATOYA -  What's the big deal? We're JUST FRIENDS. Who happen to enjoy phone sex with one another.

MARIE - This is a serious breach of girl code! When someone pretends to like a guy to get another guy jealous, her friend isn't supposed to have phone sex with the guy she was pretending to like!

ROBB - **overhearing commotion, walks in** What's all this commotion I'm overhearing? Sometimes a man likes to punch himself in peace.

MARIE - I decided Max really isn't that cute, so I love you now.

ROBB - Oh yeah? Bitchin'. **they leave together to go play in the rain**

LATOYA - **returning to her phone call, hand is back in her pants** Oh, you're my nasty carny, aren't you? What do I have to do to be tall enough to ride the funhouse?

MAX - **murmurs on the other end** 

LATOYA - Ok, I know the funhouse isn't actually a ride. You don't have to be so literal.

MAX - **murmurs on the other end**

LATOYA -  Well, the tilt-a-whirl could work, but there aren't really any height restrictions.

MAX - **murmurs on the other end**

LATOYA -  Sure, the potato-sack slide is fine.


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