Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Dance Moms Episode 12 - "Waiting for Joffrey"

At Abby Lee Miller Studios...

ABBY LEE MILLER - Girls, I just got word that a scout from the Joffrey Ballet will be at the competition in Michigan to see Maddie!

CHRISTI, CHLOE'S MOM - What about the rest of the girls?

ABBY LEE MILLER  - What about them?

CHRISTI, CHLOE'S MOM -  Fuck you, Abby Lee! And fuck you, Melissa, mother of Maddie!

ABBY LEE MILLER   - Lol, u mad bro?

CHRISTI, CHLOE'S MOM - Don't use text speak with me! Why isn't the scout there to see Chloe?

ABBY LEE MILLER - Simple. She's not as good as Maddie.


CHRISTI, CHLOE'S MOM -  I concede your point.

ABBY LEE MILLER - Good. Now, Maddie, let's go show your dancing to the senior company to make them feel bad about their fat, pathetic selves.

HOLLY, NIA'S MOM - You were really born to be an educator.

ABBY LEE MILLER - Iknowrite?

In Highland, Michigan...

ANNOUNCER - **in thick Midwestern accent** Hello, and welcome to the only competition that allows the announcers to comment on performances with things like "nice job, girls" and "beautiful dancing."

**Maddie performs, Joffrey Scout does not change his blank expression because the show only has one piece of footage of him**

ABBY LEE MILLER - **to Maddie** Did you hear the clapping? It was just me. Bitches be jelly out there.

MADDIE - Tell me about it.

**Trio of flipping around the stage in fitness attire performs**

NIA  - I think I'm paralyzed now, but I did it!

HOLLY, NIA'S MOM - That's great! I'm sure the Joffrey scout was impressed!

**same footage of Joffrey scout with no expression is shown**

ABBY LEE MILLER - Haha. Get real. He doesn't give a shit about Nia.

HOLLY, NIA'S MOM -  How would you like a hair pin covered in Maddie's blood shoved up your ass? 

ABBY LEE MILLER - It would be an honor. She's gonna be bigger than the Pope.  

ANNOUNCER - I'm baaaack. And now, Nip-Tuck, a commentary on Brooke and Paige's mom Kelly who wants new boobs but should save her money for an eyelift instead.

**Girls perform in nude bodysuits AGAIN**

ANNOUNCER  - And in first place for group number, Abby Lee -

**girls jump up to celebrate** -

ANNOUNCER  - Mitchell Dance Studios! Congrats Abby Lee Mitchell Dance Studio out of Rockford, Illinois!


Back in the dressing room...

JOFFREY BALLET SCOUT - **enters** Hello. I am the Joffrey Ballet Scout. And I would like to welcome you all to audition for our summer camp in New York.

ABBY LEE MILLER  - Wait... All of them?

JOFFREY BALLET SCOUT  - Yeah. Nose over there stuck a fifty in my underpants.

CHRISTI, CHLOE'S MOM - **winks**



  1. if this all real then how the hell is abby able to teach the girls the dances if she cant do the dances her self. thats what a dance instructor does they do the dances and the girls follow her moves . abby is a joke an should be made to teach the girls and do the daces herself just like everybody else. the girls are beautiful dancers who can dace circles round abby lee, and shut her mouth about making comments that she is be humiliated , HELLO look in the mirror , if anyone is its you making yourself humiliated , Let's see you do one of those dances then we can judge who's being humiliated . and abby should be ashamed of her self without those girls she wouldn't have those trophys or plaques hanging on her wall . she be up shit creek without a paddle. cuz in my oppinon the girls make the show not abby and shes starting to realize that and is getting jealous . well its about the grls and their dancing not abby lee and her reality show ok so get over it. shame shame shame abby i feel sorry for you when their all dancing and your left all alone with nothing, but your plaques.


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