Thursday, February 2, 2012

The Challenge: Battle of the Exes Episode 2 - "What's Love Got to Do With It?"

Leroy lets Naomi touch him just this once.

 In Costa Rica...

TJ LAVIN - Today, you and your partner are going to embrace atop a pummel horse elevated a mere three feet from the ground.


TJ LAVIN - And? That's it. Jesus, you need to find other sources of excitement.

SARAH RICE - Well, I like reading the Twilight series and imagining I'm that werewolf lady...

TJ LAVIN - Yeah, well, you're gonna be doing plenty of that because you're going home today.

SARAH RICE  - What?!? But I was doing Johnny a favor! Foreskins can cause infections!

JOHNNY BANANAS - **with a bandaged penis** It's true. That girl sure knows her way around a scalpel.

TJ LAVIN - No, not that. Vinny was touchin' titties at the club last night.

VINNY - And that's a bad thing? Man, I gotta get back to Jersey.

TJ LAVIN  - Wish granted.

VINNY - Good. I have about thirty more pounds I wanted to gain. Makes my James Gandolfini tattoo look that much bigger.

**Sarah and Vinny leave in a Nissan Sentra** 

In "The Dome"...

TJ LAVIN - Welcome to The Dome. To stay in Costa Rica, you must find a way to lodge this crucifix up one of your opponent's orifices.

MANDI - Any orifice?

TJ LAVIN - Um, I'll have to check with the producers. **whispers to producers, gestures to his mouth, anus, and ears** Yes, any orifice.

**Wes somersaults at Leroy, but Leroy uses the crucifix to hold Wes up like a puppet**

MARK LONG - **from the stands** Howdy Doody's puppeteer called. He wants Howdy Doody back.

DIEM - That was awful.

MARK LONG - I'm fifty. Gimme a break.

**Mandi and Naomi roll around in the dirt, Naomi lodges crucifix in Mandi's thigh, creating a new orifice** 

JASMINE - Damn. She is even more bad-ass than I pretend to be.

NAOMI - I'm from the BRONX! **turns to Leroy** Now do we get to fuck?

LEROY - Never. Sorry.

TJ LAVIN - Wes and Mandi, please return home to wherever how you look is considered acceptable.

WES - Mandi, even though I've got a cross lodged up my ass, I think its a good time to tell you that I love y-

MANDI - Oh look! My boyfriend's calling on my  T-Mobile® myTouch™ 4G Slide. GTG.

ANEESA - **to Leroy**  Ever had a lesbian give you the business while Skrillex pounds in the background?

LEROY - Six, maybe seven times.

NAOMI - Back the fuck off.

ANEESA - Sorry. Sorry.

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