Friday, July 15, 2011

Real Housewives of New York Episode 15 - "Video Killed the Countess"

Sonja learns to do the "Kirk Douglas." photo -

DANCE TEACHER - Sorry, ladies, the Scarf Knitting class is down the hall.

RAMONA SINGER - We're here to "get down."

DANCE TEACHER  - Excuse me?

ALEX MCCORD - You know... "Boogie."


AVERY SINGER - These are my mom's friends. For some inexplicable reason they want to learn to hip-hop dance.

DANCE TEACHER - Oh. Are you sure you don't want to check out the Scarf Knitting class instead? How about a nice cowl? Perfect for the harsh winters.

SONJA FRESH MORGAN - No, we want to "Stop, drop, and roll."

DANCE TEACHER  - Great. Well, how 'bout I teach you how to Dougie?

RAMONA SINGER - Kirk Douglas?

SONJA FRESH MORGAN  - No, Ramona, he's old! Michael Douglas?

ALEX MCCORD  - Doogie Howser, MD?

DANCE TEACHER - Forget it. Just repeat after me. "Teach me how to Dougie, teach, teach me how to Dougie."

ALEX MCCORD - I'm doing it! I'm doing it! **lays on the ground with limbs frozen like rigor mortis**

DANCE TEACHER -  Um... That's one interpretation, I suppose.

RAMONA SINGER  - How 'bout this?  **humps the air spastically with her pelvis**

DANCE TEACHER - Whoa, whoa, whoa. This is a family show, everybody. Family show.

SONJA FRESH MORGAN -  I got it! Check THIS out. **runs around the room in a circle**

DANCE TEACHER  - Well, you're slightly better than the three-year olds I teach on Saturday mornings. So that's... good?

AVERY SINGER - Mr. Funky Man, sir? I want to apologize for these women. They're horribly awkward and it's embarrassing.

DANCE TEACHER - It's ok. I've seen worse. Wait, that's a lie. But it's ok. Why don't you show me what you can do, young thang?

AVERY SINGER  - Ok, here I go! **does mini, out-of-rhythm thrusts with her pelvis**

RAMONA SINGER -  Aw, honey! You're just like your mommy!

DANCE TEACHER - Great news everybody. You've just inspired me to move to Los Angeles to follow my dream of being a professional dancer.

SONJA FRESH MORGAN - That's amazing! We have that kind of power over people?

DANCE TEACHER - You have no idea.

ALEX MCCORD - What about this? **still on the ground, slowly moves her arm up and down, while the dance teacher runs out** I tend to have that effect on people.

SONJA FRESH MORGAN  -  Ladies, we did something important today. We inspired.


**they all laugh and toast champagne glasses that materialized out of thin air, while the teacher waits at the Port Authority, in tears**


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