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| Sonja learns to do the "Kirk Douglas." photo - bravotv.com |
DANCE TEACHER - Sorry, ladies, the Scarf Knitting class is down the hall.
RAMONA SINGER - We're here to "get down."
DANCE TEACHER - Excuse me?
ALEX MCCORD - You know... "Boogie."
DANCE TEACHER - Wha?
AVERY SINGER - These are my mom's friends. For some inexplicable reason they want to learn to hip-hop dance.
DANCE TEACHER - Oh. Are you sure you don't want to check out the Scarf Knitting class instead? How about a nice cowl? Perfect for the harsh winters.
SONJA FRESH MORGAN - No, we want to "Stop, drop, and roll."
DANCE TEACHER - Great. Well, how 'bout I teach you how to Dougie?
RAMONA SINGER - Kirk Douglas?
SONJA FRESH MORGAN - No, Ramona, he's old! Michael Douglas?
ALEX MCCORD - Doogie Howser, MD?
DANCE TEACHER - Forget it. Just repeat after me. "Teach me how to Dougie, teach, teach me how to Dougie."
ALEX MCCORD - I'm doing it! I'm doing it! **lays on the ground with limbs frozen like rigor mortis**
DANCE TEACHER - Um... That's one interpretation, I suppose.
RAMONA SINGER - How 'bout this? **humps the air spastically with her pelvis**
DANCE TEACHER - Whoa, whoa, whoa. This is a family show, everybody. Family show.
SONJA FRESH MORGAN - I got it! Check THIS out. **runs around the room in a circle**
DANCE TEACHER - Well, you're slightly better than the three-year olds I teach on Saturday mornings. So that's... good?
AVERY SINGER - Mr. Funky Man, sir? I want to apologize for these women. They're horribly awkward and it's embarrassing.
DANCE TEACHER - It's ok. I've seen worse. Wait, that's a lie. But it's ok. Why don't you show me what you can do, young thang?
AVERY SINGER - Ok, here I go! **does mini, out-of-rhythm thrusts with her pelvis**
RAMONA SINGER - Aw, honey! You're just like your mommy!
DANCE TEACHER - Great news everybody. You've just inspired me to move to Los Angeles to follow my dream of being a professional dancer.
SONJA FRESH MORGAN - That's amazing! We have that kind of power over people?
DANCE TEACHER - You have no idea.
ALEX MCCORD - What about this? **still on the ground, slowly moves her arm up and down, while the dance teacher runs out** I tend to have that effect on people.
SONJA FRESH MORGAN - Ladies, we did something important today. We inspired.
RAMONA SINGER - Today? That's EVERY DAY!
**they all laugh and toast champagne glasses that materialized out of thin air, while the teacher waits at the Port Authority, in tears**
THE END
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