Thursday, July 7, 2011

The Challenge: Rivals Episode 3 - "Underdog Day Afternoon"

CT menacingly close-talking with another dude is a familiar sight on the challenges. photo -

CT and Wes battle rap...

WES - You need an eyebrow wax like whoa.

CT - Well, you need an orange-pube wax like whoa.

WES -  You sound like a retarded Ben Affleck from Good Will Hunting.  And he was already sort of the retarded one.

CT - You were engaged to Kenny's sloppy Peruvian seconds, and that sloppy Peruvian seconds had a noticeable overbite.

WES - And you were with Diem, until she found out her cancer was gone and dumped yo' ass, rather than spend the rest of her living days with you.

CT - And you're a failed frozen yogurt entrepreneur from Kansas City who says things like "dumped yo' ass."

TJ LAVIN - Guys, guys, please.

CT - What? I'm contractually obligated to start shit.

TJ LAVIN - I know, but I have to at least appear to intervene, for the sake of our, to quote Ryan from Teen Mom, "slow" viewers who haven't caught on to the formula yet.

WES - There's another kind of viewer?

TJ LAVIN  - Ha. No. To settle this, why don't you both soar above the ocean on a giant Q-tip?

MIKE MIKE -  Couldn't help but overhear... they're actually called "cotton swabs", unless you're referring specifically to the Q-Tip brand of swabs.

TJ LAVIN  -  I was, smart ass. They're one of our biggest sponsors, which explains why Johnny Bananas has clean ears for the first time in his life.

JOHNNY BANANAS - I can finally hear clearly.


WES & CT - Ahhhhhhh! **they fall in water, never come up**

TJ LAVIN - I hope that Q-tip is in tact. Otherwise, that does not bode well for this particular round of product placement.

KENNY - Kind of like the time I got diarrhea from Chili's Chicken Crispers all over the mechanical bull on The Gauntlet Two?

TJ LAVIN - Yes, kind of like that.

MANDI - Well, what now that CT and Wes are dead?

TJ LAVIN  - We dance.

**They do**

TJ LAVIN - Ok, enough of that. Now, Cara Maria and Laurel are going to beat Theresa and Camila in a game of wits, speed and strategy.

THERESA - So that's in the script? That we lose?

TJ LAVIN - No, it's just a given. It's a game of wits, speed and strategy.

CAMILA - Oh. Right. Well, bye, everybody. Its been real Costa Rican.

JONNA - Ew, anyone who says "real Costa Rican" deserves to be sent home.

JASMINE - And killed.

JONNA- Yes. And killed. So glad we're on the same page, partner. **they hug**

PAULA -  Well, after all that, I'm still here, and I'm ready to fuck. **winks at Mike Mike**

MIKE MIKE - I, uh, I gotta go stuff my package full of newspaper to impersonate Tyler.

PAULA - Not so fast, nerd. And I mean nerd in the sexiest way possible.

MIKE MIKE  - Seriously. I gotta go. **runs away** 

PAULA - Huh. **eyes Nehemiah**  Hey, Nehemiah. I'm still here, and I'm ready to fu-

NEHEMIAH - Don't even think about it.


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