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| CT menacingly close-talking with another dude is a familiar sight on the challenges. photo - mtv.com |
CT and Wes battle rap...
WES - You need an eyebrow wax like whoa.
CT - Well, you need an orange-pube wax like whoa.
WES - You sound like a retarded Ben Affleck from Good Will Hunting. And he was already sort of the retarded one.
CT - You were engaged to Kenny's sloppy Peruvian seconds, and that sloppy Peruvian seconds had a noticeable overbite.
WES - And you were with Diem, until she found out her cancer was gone and dumped yo' ass, rather than spend the rest of her living days with you.
CT - And you're a failed frozen yogurt entrepreneur from Kansas City who says things like "dumped yo' ass."
TJ LAVIN - Guys, guys, please.
CT - What? I'm contractually obligated to start shit.
TJ LAVIN - I know, but I have to at least appear to intervene, for the sake of our, to quote Ryan from Teen Mom, "slow" viewers who haven't caught on to the formula yet.
WES - There's another kind of viewer?
TJ LAVIN - Ha. No. To settle this, why don't you both soar above the ocean on a giant Q-tip?
MIKE MIKE - Couldn't help but overhear... they're actually called "cotton swabs", unless you're referring specifically to the Q-Tip brand of swabs.
TJ LAVIN - I was, smart ass. They're one of our biggest sponsors, which explains why Johnny Bananas has clean ears for the first time in his life.
JOHNNY BANANAS - I can finally hear clearly.
TJ LAVIN - Wes and CT - Ready, set, SOAR OVER THE OCEAN IN A GIANT Q-TIP!
WES & CT - Ahhhhhhh! **they fall in water, never come up**
TJ LAVIN - I hope that Q-tip is in tact. Otherwise, that does not bode well for this particular round of product placement.
KENNY - Kind of like the time I got diarrhea from Chili's Chicken Crispers all over the mechanical bull on The Gauntlet Two?
TJ LAVIN - Yes, kind of like that.
MANDI - Well, what now that CT and Wes are dead?
TJ LAVIN - We dance.
**They do**
TJ LAVIN - Ok, enough of that. Now, Cara Maria and Laurel are going to beat Theresa and Camila in a game of wits, speed and strategy.
THERESA - So that's in the script? That we lose?
TJ LAVIN - No, it's just a given. It's a game of wits, speed and strategy.
CAMILA - Oh. Right. Well, bye, everybody. Its been real Costa Rican.
JONNA - Ew, anyone who says "real Costa Rican" deserves to be sent home.
JASMINE - And killed.
JONNA- Yes. And killed. So glad we're on the same page, partner. **they hug**
PAULA - Well, after all that, I'm still here, and I'm ready to fuck. **winks at Mike Mike**
MIKE MIKE - I, uh, I gotta go stuff my package full of newspaper to impersonate Tyler.
PAULA - Not so fast, nerd. And I mean nerd in the sexiest way possible.
MIKE MIKE - Seriously. I gotta go. **runs away**
PAULA - Huh. **eyes Nehemiah** Hey, Nehemiah. I'm still here, and I'm ready to fu-
NEHEMIAH - Don't even think about it.
THE END
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