Micah would never let another gay man escort his wife to a party. Never. Photo - bravotv.com |
PEGGY TANOUS - **taps her microphone** Testing. Testing. Dinner guests, please welcome, my only black friend.
ONLY BLACK FRIEND - Thank you for having me! I'm excited to try Susan Feniger's food.
MICAH STEWART - Lol wut?
PEGGY TANOUS - You don't get to sit at the table with us. Silly Next Sade.
ONLY BLACK FRIEND - Really? Wow. Ok. **sings** Smooth operaaaaatooooor... SmooOOOOooooth operaatooooor....
EDDIE JUDGE - **dancing on the "dance floor"** How fitting. I want to smooth operate on you, Patient Tamra.
TAMRA BARNEY - Do you have a speculum, Dr. Eddie? **He starts to give her a gynecological exam on the "dance floor"**
VICKI GUNVALSON - Whoa.
TAMRA BARNEY - What? Haven't you ever seen two people in love before???
DONN GUNVALSON - I wish you'd let me give you a gynecological exam on the dance floor.
VICKI GUNVALSON - Ew. I'd never even let your flesh touch my flesh without two bottles of Merlot first.
ALEXIS BELLINO - Did somebody say, "greasy slabs of white paunchy dough?"
DONN GUNVALSON - No.
ALEXIS BELLINO - Oh. All I can think about is Jim. We even go to the toilet together. We got a special double toilet made. **runs off crying**
VICKI GUNVALSON - That explains the bankruptcies.
GRETCHEN ROSSI - You heartless bitches will never understand. Being without our men who don't lift a finger to care for their children is painful, ok?
GAY PEE WEE HERMAN - Painful enough that you won't make an ass of yourself with me on the non-existent dance floor?
GRETCHEN ROSSI - Of course not. Gimme a beat, Literally The Next Sade!
**music kicks in**
ALEXIS BELLINO - I ran out of the bathroom the moment I suspected play-dancing with our gay assistants had begun. Who needs an old Armenian "entrepreneur" when you have gays?
LITERALLY THE NEXT SADE - **sings** You're givin' me, you're givin' me the sweeeetest taboooo...
**Gretchen and Alexis drunkenly molest their frightened gay assistants**
GRETCHEN ROSSI - Sing it, only black person in Orange County. Sing it.
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