Monday, May 2, 2011

Real Housewives of Orange County Episode 9 - "Whine Pairings"

Micah would never let another gay man escort his wife to a party. Never.  Photo -

PEGGY TANOUS - **taps her microphone** Testing. Testing. Dinner guests, please welcome, my only black friend.

ONLY BLACK FRIEND - Thank you for having me! I'm excited to try Susan Feniger's food.


PEGGY TANOUS - You don't get to sit at the table with us. Silly Next Sade.

ONLY BLACK FRIEND  - Really? Wow. Ok. **sings** Smooth operaaaaatooooor... SmooOOOOooooth operaatooooor....

EDDIE JUDGE - **dancing on the "dance floor"** How fitting. I want to smooth operate on you, Patient Tamra.

TAMRA BARNEY - Do you have a speculum, Dr. Eddie? **He starts to give her a gynecological exam on the "dance floor"**


TAMRA BARNEY - What? Haven't you ever seen two people in love before???

DONN GUNVALSON - I wish you'd let me give you a gynecological exam on the dance floor.

VICKI GUNVALSON - Ew. I'd never even let your flesh touch my flesh without two bottles of Merlot first.

ALEXIS BELLINO - Did somebody say, "greasy slabs of white paunchy dough?"


ALEXIS BELLINO - Oh. All I can think about is Jim. We even go to the toilet together. We got a special double toilet made. **runs off crying**

VICKI GUNVALSON - That explains the bankruptcies. 

GRETCHEN ROSSI - You heartless bitches will never understand. Being without our men who don't lift a finger to care for their children is painful, ok?

GAY PEE WEE HERMAN - Painful enough that you won't make an ass of yourself with me on the non-existent dance floor?

GRETCHEN ROSSI - Of course not. Gimme a beat, Literally The Next Sade!

**music kicks in**

ALEXIS BELLINO  - I ran out of the bathroom the moment I suspected play-dancing with our gay assistants had begun. Who needs an old Armenian "entrepreneur" when you have gays?

LITERALLY THE NEXT SADE - **sings** You're givin' me, you're givin' me the sweeeetest taboooo...

**Gretchen and Alexis drunkenly molest their frightened gay assistants**

GRETCHEN ROSSI - Sing it, only black person in Orange County. Sing it.

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