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| Whhhhaaaa! I'm Jill Zaaaaaaaaarin! photo - bravotv.com |
At Sonja's Masquerade Ball...
SONJA MORGAN - Oh! I dropped my monocle. **demurely bends over**
SIMON VAN KEMPEN - ACK! Thug in a too-short dress!** passes out**
SONJA MORGAN - I seem to have that effect on men. Whoopsies! There goes my snuff box! **bends over**
KELLY BENSIMON - My eyes! It's as if someone has slashed them with satchels! Satchels of gold!
SONJA MORGAN - Kelly, I knew you weren't ready for this jelly. Now there goes my grandmother's brooch. **bends over**
RAMONA SINGER - Yikes! Put that fat ass away!
ALEX MCCORD - Not one to mince words, that Ramona.
JILL ZARIN - Sonja, I gotta show you something. **gives Sonja a hand mirror so she can see her bare bruised ass**
SONJA MORGAN - Wow. That's not as hot as I thought it looked.
JILL ZARIN - Nope.
At Ramona's Pinot Debut...
JENNIFER - Jill askth me why I'm friendth withhh you.
RAMONA SINGER - That fire crotched bitch.
JENNIFER - Jusssth don't make a sthene. Pleasth.
RAMONA SINGER - Me? Never.
JILL ZARIN - **enters while critically eying everything and everyone** Who doesn't serve eclair canapes at a pinot grigio party? Tacky.
RAMONA SINGER - **slashes Jill's cheek with a wine opener**
JILL ZARIN - Ow!
JENNIFER - Ramona, I asked you not to make a sthene.
RAMONA SINGER - It's my party, and I'll attempt to murder Jill Zarin with a wine opener if I want to.
JILL ZARIN - I guess I'll keep this mini koala bear souvenir for myself! **holds it against her cheek to stop the bleeding** Lowenberg's gonna make a killing off of this one.
At Cindy Barshop's apartment...
BABY DADDY KEVIN - Can you guys stop making out for one second? I came here to visit with the girls.
HOWIE BARSHOP - Sorry. When a brother and sister are attracted to each other, it's like a force of nature.
BABY DADDY KEVIN - Really? I thought they tried their hardest to repress it for the sake of normalcy. Who knew.
**Baby Jessie points**
CINDY BARSHOP - Yes, honey, Mommy and Uncle Howie love each other very much. Veeeeery much.
BABY DADDY KEVIN - You know what? Maybe we should tweak our custody agreement.
CINDY BARSHOP - Over my dead body.
HOWIE BARSHOP - And what a body it is. **pinches her tush.**
BABY DADDY KEVIN - K, I'm gonna go now. Enjoy your freaky brother sister sex session.
CINDY BARSHOP - Oh we will.
HOWIE BARSHOP - Tonight's "Goodnight, moon" night, where we reenact our mother reading it to us when we were kids, but naked.
BABY DADDY KEVIN - **grabs the babies, runs out** See you in court, Cin.
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