Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Real Housewives of New Jersey Episode 2 - "Drop Dead Gorgas"

photo - bravotv.com

At Posche, the hottest boutique targeted at middle-aged ladies in a North Jersey strip mall...

KIM G - Who's an old lady now, Teresa? Huh?


KIM G - Whatever. She's just jealous she can't compete with this. **gestures to her figure with her cane**

**coughs, throat-clearing**

MELISSA GORGA - **comes out of dressing room in cat suit** Whaddya think?

KIM D - Eeeeee! That thrice-daily puke is doing you good, girl!

MELISSA GORGA  - **coyly** Aw, shucks...

KIM D - Hey, wanna walk in the Posche fashion show?

MELISSA GORGA - Gee, I dunno, you think I could do it? **busts out Tyra walk**

KATHY WAKILE  - **comes out of dressing room in floral mumu** I guess this is from the "Mommy Line?"

KIM D - Homer Simpson himself couldn't wear it better. Wanna walk in the Posche fashion show?

KATHY WAKILE - I'll have to check with Lebanese Jeff Goldblum, but it shouldn't be a problem.

KIM D  - Great! I've asked just about everybody who's come in the shop to walk. Jacquelin Laurita's gonna walk, Teresa Giudice's gonna walk, Critterfur Manzo's gonna walk...

KIM G - **comes out wearing a pink prom dress** Here I am!


KIM G  - Anybody? Anybody?

**more silence**

KIM G  -  Kim D, aren't you going to ask me to walk in the Posche fashion show?

KIM D - Uh, um, we've got an age limit. Its a liability thing, people over 75 are more likely to have a hip injury...

KIM G  - But I'm only 54!

KIM D - Oh. Shit.  Gotta go! **runs out of the store**

KIM G - She's just not ready for this jelly.  **booty pops**

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