Thursday, September 16, 2010

Real Housewives of DC, Episode 6 - "Securing Homeland"

Lynda's ex-boyfriend Christopher channels Goo Goo Dolls frontman John Rzeznik and goes all emo on her ass.

At the annual Men With Breasts Event...

CAT OMMANNEY - This is going to sound strange, but you remind of me of an ol' chum of mine who just offed himself.

CHRISTOPHER - Oh, um, wow. Nice to meet you, too.

CAT - Just like you, he used to walk. **sniff, sniff** And talk, sometimes.

CHRISTOPHER - Twins, huh?

CAT - Yes. Twins. And you're both men. **bursts into uncontrollable sobbing**

CHRISTOPHER - **to Lynda** So I see you've been hanging out with some "interesting" people since we broke up.

LYNDA ERKILETIAN - Don't you dare use air quotes around me.

CHRISTOPHER - I'll do whatever the fuck I want. You always tried to push me around. Remember when we went to TGI Friday's and you made me pretend it was my birthday so we'd get free cake? Remember that, slut?

LYNDA -  Keep it up, and I will get on the microphone and tell the whole room how Ebong's dick makes yours look like a Mike & Ike. The unnaturally red-colored ones. I will totally go there.

CHRISTOPHER - You bitch. You fucking bitch.

CAT - Um, hello? Grieving, here?

LYNDA - Oh, right. Beat it, guy who vaguely reminds Cat of her dead friend.

CAT - Yes, please leave.

CHRISTOPHER - Fine. But I hope that dead guy never had to put up with a girlfriend who made him wear penny loafers. 'Cuz if he did, he's in a better place.

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