Thursday, September 23, 2010

Jersey Shore, Episode 10 - "Dirty Pad"

This straw is the only think Angelina will be sucking on Jose's birthday.

In the Smush Room, on Jose's birthday...

JOSE - I've brought someone here to set the mood, mi amor. Te gusta canciones sexuales?

ANGELINA - Wha? Dude, you know I don't speak Mexican.

JOSE - I'm from Cuba.

ANGELINA - Same diff. Who's that black guy in the corner?

JEREMIH - Hello. I'm R&B singer and Morgan Park High School graduate Jeremih.

ANGELINA - What the hell is he doing here?

JOSE - Oh, mi amor, it's just a romantic gesture, like the rejor Fossil.

JEREMIH - My guitarist came, too. Hope that's cool.

JOSE - Si, si. Es cool.

JEREMIH - K. **clears throat** Ahem.
Girl you know I-yay-yay
Girl you know I-yay-yay
ANGELINA - What the fuck is this crap?

JOSE - It's his hit single "Birthday Sex." Listen to the chorus, mi corazon.

Birthday sex.
Birthday sex.
It's the best day of the year, girl.
JOSE - So... what do you think?

ANGELINA - About what?

JOSE - His song.

ANGELINA - Eh. I'm more of an R. Kelly kind of girl.

JOSE - No... the lyrics.

ANGELINA - It's not gonna happen, bro.

JOSE - But it's my birthday! And I had to smuggle in a box of cigars for him to perform for you!

JEREMIH - Um, I think we're gonna go.

JOSE - Fine, thanks for coming, hombre.

JEREMIH - Anytime. So, about those Cubans...

JOSE - Oh, yeah. They're on the night stand.

JEREMIH - Thanks. Sorry it didn't work out for you, man. **he and his guitarist leave**

ANGELINA - **yawning** Well, g'night.

JOSE - Dammit. Me hago una paja.

ANGELINA - Huh? I told you. No comprende Mexicano.

JOSE - Nada. If you need me, I'll be in the bathroom for the next cinco o seis minutos.

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