Real Housewives of Orange County - Episode 2

Stray Observations:

• Ever see that episode of The Golden Girls, where their crotchety old neighbor lady dies and nobody comes to the funeral because she was such a bitch? Vicki's mother bears a striking resemblance to that woman, except Vicki would come to the funeral because she'll never stop trying to win her mother's unobtainable love.
• I was weirded out by the conversation at dinner between Alexis, Tamra, and their creepy graying husbands. "We're the kind of girls that you have to let make our own decisions, because we need to learn on our own that our choices are bad." Or something to that effect. Isn't this what teenagers say to their parents when they get caught heavy petting in the den? Grown ass women shouldn't have to ask their husbands to loosen the reins. But maybe to them, it's reasonable to trade in some freedom for money and security. Ew.
• Yeah, Simon's a douche. Last week's debacle over teabagging was redonks (like kids really know the alternate meaning of teabags), but I suspect he's come to the realization that his wife is an awful person, and rather than telling her so, he lets his contempt seep out passive-aggressive style.
• I'm starting to think that Tamra's in love with Gretchen, but goes the junior-high route of pulling her hair and talking about vibrators.
• Aw, for a second there, I thought Alexa's fear of her family members' faces changing was genuine, and I felt kinda bad for her. But then I realized she's just afraid that her sister will end up being hotter than her.
• Slade Smiley's penis cover-up did not make me smiley. It made me pukey.