Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The Hills - Episode 4

Scene I

STEPHANIE: (to intercom) Can you lower the drawbridge so I can cross the moat?

AUDRINA: (to intercom) Sure, just tell Igor the password and he'll let you in.

STEPHANIE: (inside) Hey 'Dreen! Digging the magical fortress.

AUDRINA: Thanks! So if you don't mind, I'll need a sympathetic ear to dump all my so-called "problems" on for the next hour.

STEPHANIE: I don't mind. The American public seems wholly uninterested in my personal exploits, even when I get a DUI. Does a girl need to decapitate an elderly homeless man to get on the cover of Life & Style nowadays?

AUDRINA: Did you say something?


Scene II

DENNIS (KRISTIN'S DAD): Things have really been looking up since I moved into LC's parents' old house and I married a woman who looks exactly like my daughter. How's Brody?

KRISTIN: He's good. I'm dating a new guy now. He rides a motorcycle, has an Italia tattoo, and he-

DENNIS: How's Brody?

KRISTIN: He's good. But this new guy, he used to have really bad manners and burp all the time, but now he even showers regularly and he-

DENNIS: How's Brody?

KRISTIN: I told you, he's good!

DENNIS: God, I want to fuck Brody. So hard.

KRISTIN: Dad, you are SUCH a dork.

Scene III

HEIDI: Oh no. Look at Holly. She's drinking. At an art gallery. In front of Tom Green. This is her rock bottom.

SPENCER: The Tom Green part alone would be anybody's rock bottom.

HEIDI: Maybe we should stage an intervention at a Mexican restaurant in front of television cameras.

SPENCER: Well, you know how I feel. All of life's critical moments are best conducted in front of television cameras.

HEIDI: Just be sure to wear your cowboy hat. Daddy issues.

Scene IV

AUDRINA: I miss your motorcycle.

JUSTIN: It's time for other people to take a ride on my motorcycle.

AUDRINA: But I want to be the one on your motorcycle.

JUSTIN: There's room for three on my motorcycle.

AUDRINA: So you're going to attach one of those sidecars? I've always wanted to ride in one of those since I saw that Indiana Jones movie...

JUSTIN: I guess they didn't cover metaphors at that community college you went to.

1 comment:

  1. A) All of life's best decisions are made in front of television cameras. At Mexican Restaurants, no less.

    B) Aww, thats cute that you think Audrina even attended a community college.



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