Sunday, January 11, 2009

Rock of Love Bus - Indianapolis

Former porn-star Brittaney tells Natasha that she only got a backstage pass from Bret because she's black.

When Natasha rightfully tells Bikini Brit that she's a racist, she defends herself by saying "My grandpa was black." Quite a new twist on the whole "I have a black best friend" schpiel.

If you're grandfather was black, wouldn't you just say "I'm partially black?" She must've been talking about some brotha that her grandmother married, rather than a biological grandfather. Weak, girlfriend. Weak.

Still, Bret keeps her around, despite her sad lap dance in a bathing suit much too small for her. He knows, as a viewer of some of her films, that she'll put out, even if her tears of desperation dampen the mood.

Bret sent the chick who refuses to have "all the way sex" with him home. She didn't rule out touching his peen, or even some Monica action, but for Bret, it's all the way or the highway. He never ceases to amaze me with his kindness and grace.

Next stop: Champaign, IL. Two of my viewing companions, alums of U of I, erupted in cheers when next week's destination was announced. But to those of you who've never been there, don't gauge the worthiness of this town by their enthusiasm. It's the epitome of bleak Midwestern grayness. I'm curious to see what they plan to do there besides drink. Maybe they'll visit the bowling alley in the student union basement.

Previously on The Hills: Rock of Love Bus - Premiere

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