Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Real Houswives of Orange County - Love Tanks

Word on the street is that Donn Gunvalson peaced out on either Vicki or the show. And by "street", I mean the gossip websites I frequent while I should be feeding the homeless or reading Proust.

If this rumor is true, I can't say I blame the guy. Admittedly, my familiarity with the role of husband is limited to my dad, but I'd say Donn is doing a bang-up job. He seems like he has a good sense of humor, he's gainfully employed, he likes his step kids, and most of all, he loves to do shots. And how does Vicki show her appreciation? By humiliating him in public at every opportunity.

Everyone's got their problems, Vick. But most people manage to keep those things on the DL and NOT break down in tears at somebody else's 10-year anniversary dinner.

Tamra and Simon might be all up in each other's business when the cameras are rolling, but we know that things weren't always perfect in Barney Land. Remember all that brouhaha over Ryan living with them? Still, Vicki manages to make everything about her, and how she's dissatisfied with her marriage, and how Donn never touches her in her no-no spot anymore.

Plenty of women would be willing to pounce on a single Donn Gunvalson. Take Jeana, for one. Even if DG is somewhat frigid, I'm sure he's got to be more affectionate than Matt Keough.

I've been waiting to hear about Vicki's "love tank" all season, and I must admit that the wait was worth it!  The wait was worth it because Vicki somehow managed to turn someone else's 10 year celebration of marriage into something about her.  No small feat, but mission accomplished.

I knew that Vicki and Donn tagging along on the Barney's trip to Napa would spell one drunken disaster.  Bravo to Bravo! for giving the viewers what they want, and always placing Vicki at events which will lead to her eventual intoxication and yelling 'woooo!'  The only drawback is that Vicki has now become self-aware of her trademark line.  It is as if Fonzie realized that 'hey!' was popular, so he stared into the camera each time he said it.  I guess that is the problem with all reality programs, though.  When the participants become aware of their celebrity, they stop behaving like themselves and start playing up their persona.

Speaking of playing it up for the camera, how uncomfortable was it when Tamra put on a show for Simon?  Has a guy ever seemed less appreciative of a sexy gesture? 

I suppose this says a lot about me, but in regards to Jeana's 'appetizer' of one slice of pizza, I didn't think it was wrong in terms of diet or social etiquette.  I've only been to Hanna's Restaurant twice, when I worked in Rancho Santa Margarita, but I seem to remember they served some sort of thin sliced, baked french fried things that aren't like traditional french fries.  Screw Kara and her diet tips.  She doesn't like Berkeley, but admittedly she has spent so little time there, how could she.  Who is paying for these weekly flights to LA?  Maybe Mom should put a stop to this if she wants her daughter to enjoy her college experience.  I guess the point is moot, seeing that Kara eventually transfers to UCLA to be with her boyfriend.

I once knew an interior designer who worked in Coto and made a good living redecorating the bedrooms of single women in the neighborhood, who ate and redecorated to forget about their love lives.  Its one hell of a business idea, if you're looking for one.  Jeana's love tank appears to be running on empty, which is a shame, as she seems to be the most genuine of the Orange County housewives.  Certainly, someone must be willing to fill her tank.  My vote is for Donn Gunvalson.

Gretchen's visit to the Indianapolis 500 seemed to be an afterthought this week.  Did we really need a reminder that she is eye candy, too young for her husband, and possibly looking for the affection of other men?  Please tell me she gets a real storyline soon.  Who takes a coach ride in downtown Indianapolis anyway?  If you ask, that must be the single least romantic city, save for El Paso, Texas.

It sounds as if we have seen the last of Lauri for now.  Next week is the introduction of the new housewife, Lynn.  She apparently is a cougar, has an insatiable appetite for men and is obsessed with youth.  Those qualities are so hard to find in Orange County.  Does any of this sound familiar?


  1. I'd date Donn! What a nice guy! He is continuously emasculated by his domineering wife, Vicki. She does NOT deserve Donn by any stretch of the imagination. Funny, because she seems so miserable in his presence.


web statistics
Wall Street Journal