Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Real Housewives of Atlanta - Best of Enemies

I didn't get the best grades in college, but if there was a course called Wig Analyzation 101, I wouldn't even have to sleep with the professor to pass.

Ok, you can definitely see the color difference between Kim's wig and her bangs. The wig is a more strawberry blond, while the real hair is dirty dishwater. Plus, the bangs have frickin' roots, and the wig does not.

So who's the drag queen now? Miss NeNe at least put some thought into her head piece. Unlike Kim's, it doesn't look like the Marcia Brady wig you can buy at one of those temporary Halloween stores they open in vacant PetSmarts.

Props to Dallas Austin for giving it to Kim straight, even though it might jeopardize his friendship with Big Papa. I read elsewhere on the Internet that they are really and truly working on putting an album together, so she must have cleaned up her act. That, or he added those robotic vocals Britney's producers use to cover up her crappy voice. I can't imagine that would sound good on a country song like "Tightrope", though. I hope to never find out.

The housewives all met for one final dinner together to end the season, and the drama was minimal. NeNe started getting a little wound up, but Kim managed to calm her down by expressing concern for her children. Oh really, Klassy Kim? She was so worried that her kids would overhear NeNe calling her out, yet she smokes a pack a day in the same house as her children, who have pleaded with her to quit. Not only that, she sleeps with her daughters in her bed every night. It can't be healthy for those girls to be kept awake by Big Papa's snoring every second Saturday of the month.

What a relief that Lisa helped settle the differences between the women that she herself created. You know she's the one who told Kim about NeNe's smack talk. Still, I can't hate. Girlfriend referenced MC Hammer while walking to the restaurant: "Pumps and a bump!" That is some ol' skool shit right thur.

As the country hit "Tightrope" played in the background, Bravo gave us a written account of how each woman is doing post-production. Kim's still puffing away, anxiously awaiting her 30th birthday (uh huh). Lisa wants to squeeze another kid out. Sheree's using her seven figure settlement to pay an actual designer to make a clothing line named after her. DeShawn's mouth is permanently frozen into a smile. But the very best housewife, with the very best husband, was saved for last, and you know what that means.

A star is born. NeNe Leakes, ladies and gentlemen.
-Liz

3 comments:

  1. "My voice, its a god given talent."- The talentless 29 year old

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, I forgot to mention how Sheree told Lisa "I will fuck you up" and "I will beat your ass" when she called NeNe over for a photo. Could these women be any classier?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Don't forget about the reunion showing next Tuesday! That's where we'll see the drama and real showdown after NeNe's comments of, "I'll see you outside".

    ReplyDelete

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