Monday, June 13, 2011

Keeping Up with the Kardashians Episode 1 - "Family vs. Money "

One Kris too many. photo -


KHLOE KARDASHIAN-ODOM - Kim, I don't think I can let myself get close to Kris.

KIM KARDASHIAN - You were pretty close to her when you came out of her vagina.

KHLOE KARDASHIAN - No, not that Kris.

KIM KARDASHIAN - The lighter-skinned one from Kris Kross?


KIM KARDASHIAN - Oh, you mean Kris Kristofferson. Love his band.

KHLOE KARDASHIAN  - You idiot. I'm talking about your boyfriend. Kris Humphries.

KIM KARDASHIAN  - Oh, that guy.  I think its better you don't get too close.


KIM KARDASHIAN -  Remember at Magic Mountain when you and Reggie rode on the kiddie coaster where the other person sits in your crotch? And I got stuck holding your purse? Yeah, too close.

KHLOE KARDASHIAN - Big whoop. He only got half a boner.

KIM KARDASHIAN  - And the time you and Miles drove down to Tijuana, and you "forgot to invite me"?

KHLOE KARDASHIAN  - Your phone went to voicemail! Plus, you always get diarrhea in Mexico.

KIM KARDASHIAN - Or when Ray J urinated on your leg, just because he claimed to have a full bladder at the moment, and I was in the shower?

KHLOE KARDASHIAN -  What did you expect him to do? Hold it?

KIM KARDASHIAN  -  My point is that I'm perfectly fine with you never hanging with Kris.

KRIS JENNER - **enters, overhearing** Fine by me, too. I'm busier than a motherfucker.

KIM KARDASHIAN - No, not you.

KRIS JENNER  -  The lighter-skinned guy from Kris Kross?

KHLOE KARDASHIAN - Don't you have a meeting to act important at?

KRIS JENNER  - Christ. Touchy. **lights up a cig** Y'all need to get laid more.

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