Thursday, May 5, 2011

The Real World Las Vegas Episode 9 - "Guys Who Like Girls Who Like Girls Who Like Sex"

Naomi has a painful "vaGINal" infection. Photo -

In the "Confessional"...

NAOMI - I think I have a vaGINal infection. 

LEROY - Not possible. I've only had six unprotected threesomes with Appalachian auto plant assembly line workers. Everyone knows they're the cleanest.

NAOMI - Well, where did I get it from, then? 

LEROY  - Have you been using Mike Mike's loofah? 

NAOMI  - Yes. It's purple and smells like lilacs.

LEROY  - There you go. Dude's from Virginia. They have relations with swine there.

NAOMI  -  I thought that was just a stereotype. 

LEROY - Nope.

NAOMI -  Huh. That explains why he likes bacon so much. Oh, and p.s.- I'm pregnant. 

LEROY -  Loofah.  

NAOMI - Shit. Sponges make the worst dads.      

In the Dustin/Cooke Sex Room...

DUSTIN ZITO - Ahhh! Cooke, what are you doing??? 

COOKE - Baking a quiche. What the fuck does it look like I'm doing? I'm having sex with your friend. 

DUSTIN ZITO  - Wow. A Southern lady would never do something like that. 

COOKE - Do Southern gentlemen have anal intercourse for two hundred bucks to satisfy thousands of gay men's hunger for masturbation material?

DUSTIN ZITO - Touche. 

In the suite with "serious talk" Full House music playing...
HEATHER - Sorry, Dustin. I can't hook up with a dude who used to be gay.

DUSTIN ZITO -  But that was just a phase. Like wetting the bed. 

MIKE MIKE - Some of us never quite get out of that stage. 

HEATHER - Sorry, Dusty. It's immoral. 

NANY -  Hey, Peanut, wanna dry hump with me, another lady?

HEATHER - You betcha.

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