Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Real Housewives of Orange County - Why Are You Being So Mean to Me?

Perhaps someone can enlighten me as to what Lynne said or did that was so incredibly offensive to Vicki.

I understand that Vicki and Jeana wanted to discuss Jeff's will and Gretchen's finances, two topics that are wholly inappropriate to discuss with someone you hardly know over lunch. Lynne could sense that Gretchen was uncomfortable with the convo, so she said that Gretch will get by just fine once Jeff kicks the bucket.

What I don't understand is why Vicki considered this a "party foul." Yes, she actually called it a "party foul," as if Lynne knocked over a Solo cup during a game of Fuck You. In Jeana and Vicki's pathetic worlds, being on a reality show for four years is considered power, so they feel the need to treat those without reality-veteran status as lesser beings. They're the middle-age female equivalents of Johnny Bananas and Kenny on Road Rules/Real World Challenge. Apparently, Lynne cannot voice her opinions or speak as an equal, because she's still on Season 1.

Poor Gretchen, who I admit I had reservations about at the beginning of the season, is taking heat from all sides. Vicki's fierce competitor for the title of absolute worst person in the world, Tamra, insists that Gretchen is jealous of where she's at in her life. Because every thirty-year old dreams of getting knocked up as a teenager and living with a stripper roommate. They also long to have a car salesman second husband and a creepy, would-be date rapist son. Tamra also believes that Gretch is jealous of all the fake boobs she sees around her. Because every thirty-year old with naturally nice bubbies wants to stuff herself with silicone. And is that really something a woman in the O.C. can be jealous of? It's not like they're an unattainable commodity in the area.

I don't know who Tamra think she's kidding. Her green glow of envy is visible from space. Gretchen is younger, hotter, funnier, and kinder. She could easily acquire all the "riches" Tamra has, right down to the British ex-Fletcher Jones employee husband. What's that quote, about how people who overvalue their looks die a thousand deaths each day as they age? You get the point. Through that transparent freckled skin, we can seeTamra's pain at losing what's most important to her in the world. And it's a sad sight.

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